


i keep your number saved

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance accidentally texts keith, M/M, Stupid inside jokes, Trans Keith (Voltron), Wrong number, klance college AU, klance wrong number
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-19
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-19 09:05:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12407358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lance accidentally texts the wrong number and ends up having stupid conversations with the person on the other end of the phone. Seems simple enough, but things always have a way of complicating themselves.In short, neither of these idiots know what they're doing.





	1. Chapter 1

**(9:47pm) lance:** i know u hav a new phone and i hope thsi is the right number but BITHC  
**lance:** U WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT THTA GREMLIN JSUT SAID TO ME  
**lance:** i was tryna get them to do that stupid coding assignment for me and i was all like 'cmon pidgey i'll do anything'  
**lance:** and they were like 'anything?'  
**lance:** n i was like 'anything!!!!'  
**lance:** and that little shti said "then perish" and remoevd me from the group chat n nobody's let me back in yet  
**lance:** bb you have to add me back in when u get ur phone working bc ur the only one loyal to me anymore  
**lance:** i only trust u  
**lance:** everyone else is the brutis 2 my caesar  
**lance:** the judas 2 my jesus  
**lance:** top 10 anime betrayals

 **(10:06 pm) ????????:** _I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number._

**(10:06pm) lance:** SHIT  
**lance:** SORRY I THOUGHT U WERE ALLURA I'M EMBARRASSED NOW

 

 **(10:21pm) lance:** seriously though can you believe how mean they are  
**lance:** my so-called friends

 **(10:34pm) ????????:** _I don't know you?? At all??_

**(10:34pm) lance:** u can look at it objectively  
**lance:** give me ur outsider's opinion!

 **(10:35pm) ????????:** _Please delete this number._

**(10:36pm) lance:** ok ok sorry, bye

 

 **(10:42pm) ????????:** _It's Brutus, by the way._

**(10: 42pm) lance:** sorry?

 **(10:43pm) ????????:** _The guy who betrayed Caesar. Brutus._

**(10:44pm) lance:** thanks?? now i won't be mocked by my asshole friends when i tell them who they remind me of

 **(10:50pm) ????????:** _They're that bad? Your friends?_

**(10:50pm) lance:** YES THEY'RE SO RUDE  
**lance:** THEY ALWAYS MAKE FUN OF ME  
**lance:** THEY'RE TERRIBLE AND I HATE THEM ALL  
**lance:** SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY I EVEN TRY  
**lance:** I GIVE AND I GIVE AND GET NOTHING IN RETURN  
**lance:** THEY DON'T DESERVE ME  
**lance:** YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE HAD IT. I'M GONNA LOVE MYSELF I DON'T NEED THEM

 **(10:52PM) ????????:** _You do that. I support you._

**(10:52pm) lance:** THANK YOU RANDOM CITIZEN I WILL  
**lance:** A BRIGHT FUTURE WITHOUT MY RUBBISH FRIENDS  
**lance:** never mind they added me back in i love my friends

 **(10:53pm) ????????:** _Glad to hear it. (??)_

**(10:54pm) lance:** pidge agreed to do the assignment ohh heellllll yeeeeahhhhhhhh  
**lance:** i have to buy them coffee for three months but its still a win  
**lance:** thank u for ur invaluable advice sir  
**lance:** or madam  
**lance:** or nonbinary person  
**lance:** or serial killer  
**lance:** tell me a bit abt urself agony aunt  
**lance:** i wanna know to whom i have been pouring my woes

 **(10:59pm) ????????:** _Uh? How do I know you're not a serial killer either?_

**(11:01pm) lance:** u literally know like 5 things about me already surely u can tell that i'm harmless and delightful  
**lance:** i am a stunningly attractive 19 year old college boy. no. college MAN

 **(11:06pm) ????????:** _Oh. Same. Well, the age part. And the college part._

**(11:06pm) lance:** ok sorry there is no way ur 19 u type like my granny

 **(11:07pm) ????????:** _You type like my infant cousin._

**(11:07pm) lance:** CLEARLY IT'S BE MEAN TO ME DAY TODAY  
**lance:** YOU WOULD GET ON GREAT WITH MY FRIENDS

 **(11:09pm) ????????:** _Somehow I doubt that. One of them told you to die??_

**(11:09pm) lance:** eh that's just pidge. happens more often than u'd think with them lmao

 **(11:10pm) ????????:** _Right._

 **(11:10pm) lance:** so uh  
**lance:** what college do u go to, serial killer?

 **(11:10pm) ????????:** _I have to get up early tomorrow. Bye._

 **(11:11pm) lance:** avoiding the question,,,,,,classic serial killer move.......  
**lance:** 11:11 MAKE A WISH, SERIAL KILLER  
**lance:** what r u gonna wish for?  
**lance:** probably  
**lance:** a shower

 **(11:12pm) ????????:** _What?_

 **(11:12pm) lance:** so u can make a clean getaway

 **(11:12pm) ???????:** _????_

 **(11:12pm) lance:** because ur a serial killer

**(number saved as: serial killer)**

**(11:12pm) serial killer:** _....That was a joke? It wasn't funny._

**(11:12pm) lance:** OMFG EXCUSE U i am the funniest person ALIVE

 **(11:13pm) serial killer:** _Was that a swear young man?_

**(11:13pm) lance:** ha! you are my granny! abuela is that u

 **(11:13pm) serial killer:** _Yes and as your granny I am telling you to go the fuck to sleep_

**(11:13pm) lance:** i am appalled at you mr serial killer, impersonating my grandmother. use that shower to wash ur mouth out. u should b ashamed.

 **(11:14pm) lance:** serial killer?

 **(11:15pm) lance:** don't ignore me please i'm boreddddddddd

 **(11:17pm) lance:** fine. i'm changing ur name from serial killer to brutus. and i'm not even gonna spell it right. feel the rue

 

**(serial killer saved as: brutis)**

 

 **(11:18pm) lance:** et tu, motherfucker

 **(11:18pm) brutis:** _Seriously, stop spamming me. Go away._

 **(11:18pm) lance:** you wound me, brutis. i hope u enjoy ur lonely lonely solitude without ur best friend caesar

 **(11:20pm) brutis:** _I'm turning my phone off._

**(11:20pm) lance:** uuughghghguguugugughghghghgugu ur worse than hunk. well, fine. two can play at that game.

 **(11:21pm) brutis:** _What game? Sleeping?_

**(11:27pm) brutis:** _You there?_

 

*

 

 **(3:38pm) lance:** BRUTIS I GOT REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT AGAIN  
**lance:** YOU MAY BE A DUSTY LONG-DEAD ROMAN MAN BUT YOU'RE MY ONLY FRIEND

 **(4:22pm) brutis:** _Hello to you too._

 **(4:22pm) lance:** console me brutis my friends are mean and classes are boring and i jsut jumped in a puddle and got my socks wet

 **(4:23pm) brutis:** _I'm sorry? That your socks are wet? I don't know, man. Sounds to me like you made your own problems._

**(4:23pm) lance:** brutis I knew you were cold but that's just ridiculous. i am always the blameless victim. how dare yuo.

 **(4:24pm) brutis:** _Questionable statement. So why'd they remove you?_

**(4:26pm) lance:** i made fun of hunk for listening to kpop  
**lance:** and everyone decided that making fun of hunk is a crime punishable by banishment  
**lance:** so i've been evicted  
**lance:** i'm hoping my bestie allura will b kind enough 2 forgive me  
**lance:** but in the meantime ur my main bitch  
**lance:** save me brutis whoever the fuck you are  
**lance:** ur my only ho

 **(4:30pm) brutis:** _That sure is nice to hear._  
**brutis:** _Do you talk to all the girls that way?_

**(4:30pm) lance:** holy shit  
**lance:** brutis you're a girl?  
**lance:** my whole entire life is a lie  
**lance:** here i was thinking u were a dusty long dead roman man

 **(4:33pm) brutis:** _No, shut up. I was joking._

**(4:34pm) lance:** so u are a dusty long dead roman man?  
**lance:** casual emphasis on the man

 **(4:41pm) brutis:** _Yeah. I'm a guy._

**(4:42pm) lance:** good 2 know, brutis. good 2 know. hey now i know like 3 things about u, my buddy my pal! we should celebrate

 **(4:50pm) brutis:** _Can we celebrate by you never calling me brutis again?_

**(4:50pm) lance:** Nice try brutis. omg we can celebrate by you naming me  
**lance:** who am i 2 u  
**lance:** listen if i'm saved in ur phone as caesar then that's officially the best thing ever

 **(4:51pm) brutis:** _No it's not? That means I stab you._

**(4:51pm) lance:** yeah but in like  
**lance:** a friendly, caring way  
**lance:** a bit of stabbing between bros never hurt anyone

 **(4:51pm) brutis:** _Saving you in my phone means i acknowledge you. You'll remain an unknown number until I say otherwise.._

**(4:51pm) lance:** BEING MEAN TO ME DAY PART 2 (THE SEQUEL)  
**lance:** i like the element of mystery though. i could b anyone... oooOOOO  >:^)  
**lance:** ok my stop's coming up i gtg

 **(4:52pm) brutis:** _Talk to you later?_

 

*

 

 **(7:34pm) brutis:** _Fuck._

**(7:35pm) lance:** what  
**lance:** miss the ides of march?

 **(7:35pm) brutis:** _What? No, my cat vomited on me._

 **(7:35pm) lance:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA  
**lance:** also of course u have a cat  
**lance:** i bet ur a hermit with like 53 cats

 **(7:36pm) brutis:** _It's orange. Why is it orange?_  
**brutis:** _And no. I have 1._

**(7:37pm) lance:** omg u double texted  
**lance:** this must b love  
**lance:** what's orange? the vomit or the cat?

 **(7:39pm) brutis:** _Must be. ;)_  
**brutis:** _I was talking about the vomit, but the cat is actually orange too._

**(7:40pm) lance:** brutis i'm gonna explode did u just winky face at me  
**lance:** and here i thought i was the romantic in this committed relationship  
**lance:** it's called marmalade, isn't it

 **(7:41pm) brutis:** _What? The cat? Nope._  
**brutis:** _It takes two to tango, Julius_

 **(7:42pm) lance:** a mutual first-name basis? maybe we're taking this too fast. ;)  
lance: garfield?

 **(7:43pm) brutis:** _No, I admit it is actually a really stupid name for a cat_  
**brutis:** _I named her when I was like 5 okay_

**(7:46pm) lance:** and???? what did u name her???

 **(7:47pm) brutis:** _Nope. Gonna make you suffer. Have a guess._

**(7:47pm) lance:** you're sending me mixed signals here, brutis  
**lance:** one minute u call me julius and the next u force me to guess ur cat's name  
**lance:** ur just playing with my heart

 **(7:47pm) brutis:** _Maybe i can make it up to you with some friendly, caring stabbing later ;)_

**(7:47pm) lance:** asdfjgkhlh;dksjr who are u and what have u done with dusty long-dead roman brutis

 **(7:47pm) brutis:** _Oh Jesus my cat just vomited again what the fuck_

**(7:50pm) brutis:** _You there?_

**(7:50pm) lance:** grbjgrb90ijriguonj43-i35khl hvtufotudgcccccccccccccch

 **(7:50pm) brutis:** _?????_

**(7:50pm) lance:** HOWDY PARDNER

 **(7:51pm) brutis:** _????????????_

**(7:51pm) lance:** ksjdfgoweruiiiiiiiiiiii\poawurONR;32 ';OIUJFR

 **(7:51pm) brutis:** _Okay what the fuck_

**(7:52pm) lance:** OKAY I'M BACK SORRY MY FRIENDS ARE SUPER ANNOYING  
**lance:** THAT WAS ALLURA'S IDEA OF A JOKE SHE WON'T STOP GIGGLING  
**lance:** my friends have been bugging me all day about the mystery person i've been texting between classes  
**lance:** and when i laughed at ur cat vomiting again she grabbed my phone and held me down while texting the above  
**lance:** that girl is terrifyingly strong  
**lance:** life hack, strong best friends will crush ur enemies 4 u

 **(7:54pm) brutis:** _I'm gonna go to bed, I have classes early tomorrow. 'Night._

 **(7:54pm) lance:** you okay?  
**(7:59pm) lance:** text me when u wake up maybe?  
**(8:04pm) lance:** night, brutus

 

*

 

 **(4:26am) lance:** bet ur cat's called ginger u dusty roman fuck


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the texts continue :^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you left a comment on chapter 1 this chapter is for you!!!! this was just a way for me to destress after homework but i'll keep going with it because of you guys <3 you're all so sweet thank you guys so so so much! hope you enjoy!!!

**(6:32am) brutis:** _Why would you text me at FOUR AM to tell me I'm a dusty Roman fuck?_  
**brutis:** _You were awake because...?_

**(9:25am) lance:** if i can't wake u up at 4am to tell you you're a dusty roman fuck then what's the point?????????  
**lance:** and i was thinking about your cat ofc  
**lance:** u may be my husband but my life doesn't revolve around you brutis  
**lance:** it revolves around your cat  
**lance:** so how is my dear ginger this morning 

**(9:25am): brutis:** _She stopped vomiting and her name is not Ginger_

**(9:25am) lance:** FUCK I WAS SURE I HAD IT

**(9:25am) brutis:** _Maybe someday ;)_

**(9:25am) lance:** winky faces at this ungodly hour? you must be enamoured. next you'll be ganging up on me in the theater and straight up committing murder ♥ ♥ 

**(9:26am) brutis:** _That's third base. We should really hold hands first._

**(9:26am) lance:** asdjascfhakj just two middle aged roman leaders being pals  
**lance:** shit my bus si hete ok wtait  
**lance:** ok i'm seated  
**lance:** serving wednesday morning bus realness  
**lance:** am i saved as caesar in your phone yet babe

**(9:26am) brutis:** _Are you the Emperor of Rome yet?_

**(9:27am) lance:** what if i said yes

**(9:27am) brutis:** _Then I'd change your name..._

**(9:27am) lance:** OMG YESSS HAHAHAAAAAAAH YOU DO LOVE ME ♥

**(9:27am) brutis:** _...to "Liar."_

**(9:27am) lance:** THIS 'BE MEAN TO ME DAY' STREAK IS ONGOING I SEE  
**lance:** GOOD TO KNOW SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE  
**lance:** i am a genius 4 calling u brutus because u are a tru traitor  
**lance:** i bet you drizzle ketchup on your fries instead of putting it on the side

**(9:28am) brutis:** _..._

**(9:28am) lance:** OH MY GOD YOU DO OH MY GOD  
**lance:** I'M BLOCKING YOU  
**lance:** YOU HAVE LANDED URSELF IN MY BLACKLIST ALONG WITH PIDGE

**(9:28am) brutis:** _Isn't that the "then perish" friend?_

**(9:28am) lance:** yEAH but not because of that  
**lance:** i am used to being harassed by that little gremlin

**(9:28am) brutis:** _And what did they do this time?_

**(9:28am) lance:** OK  
**lance:** today's reason is that yesterday i bought them coffee as per our agreement  
**lance:** and that little shit took out a marker and wrote "caesar's tears" on it and walked around campus drinking my tears  
**lance:** so i was pretty preoccupied with that  
**lance:** and they were distracting me so much i missed my bus  
**lance:** so I was already like PIDGE WTF  
**lance:** and then I had to call Hunk to pick me up  
**lance:** and then a car that looked like Hunk's rolled up  
**lance:** so I hopped in and said "hi hunky"  
**lance:** BRUTIS  
**lance:** IT WASN'T HUNK'S CAR  
**lance:** SOME RANDOM WOMAN WAS LOOKING BACK AT ME  
**lance:** AND I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT I SCREAMED  
**lance:** AND THEN I OPENED THE DOOR AND FELL OUT OF THE CAR IN MY HASTE  
**lance:** AND PIDGE RECORDED THE WHOLE THING  
**lance:** THEY SAW ME WALK TOWARDS THE CAR AND DIDN'T STOP ME  
**lance:** I'M STILL IN DISBELIEF  
**lance:** u know what brutis  
**lance:** you may betray me every few minutes  
**lance:** you may drizzle your ketchup  
**lance:** i bet u don't exfoliate  
**lance:** i may not have any idea who you are  
**lance:** but ur a good friend 2 me compared with PIDGE

**(9:35am) brutis:** _JULIUS WHAT THE FUCK AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAkljsdhfsdkhsjc'iSAJFO_  
**brutis:** _Listen asshole I'm in class right now_  
**brutis:** _If you think I can handle a story like that in the middle of a lecture you are wrong._  
**brutis:** _"hi hunky" made me snort so loudly my lecturer thought i was having an asthma attack._  
**brutis:** _caesar's tears akjhbQEPJDFSH;PA;FI9_

**(9:36am) lance:** i'm glad my misery amuses you, ketchup drizzler  
**lance:** i would like nothing more than to hear more about your snorting atsmha adventures  
**lance:** but i am almost at school and therfore must depart  
**lance:** not all of us are good at sneaky texting  
**lance:** i shall enrich you with my attention when class is over  
**lance:** dream of me in the meantime, brutis my love ♥

**(9:37am) brutis:** _Okay._  
**brutis:** _bye hunky_.

 

*

 

**(11:47am) lance:** BRUTIS QUICK WHAT IS UR OPNION OF BANANAS  
**lance:** HURRY UP BRUTIS I NEED UR HELP

**(11: 50am) brutis:** _Uhh... They're okay, I guess?_

**(11:50am) lance:** OKAY AND THEN WHAT ABOUT 5 BANANAS IN A ROW

**(11:50am) brutis:** _Can't say I'd eat 5 bananas in a row.._  
**brutis:** _Two bananas is my limit probably._  
**brutis:** _Why??_

**(11:51am) lance:** we're staging an intervention  
**lance:** shiro has confessed that he eats bananas at every meal??? he's had five already today  
**lance:** it's not even noon i'm so angery

**(11:51am) brutis:** _Isn't there a limit? Like too much potassium can land you in hospital or something?_

**(11:51am) lance:** yeah apparently, hence the intervention  
**lance:** he says he doesn't really notice? like he just always feels like eating bananas?  
**lance:** allura's googling it right now  
**lance:** apparently seven and a half bananas is where you should stop  
**lance:** but no amount of bananas will kill a healthy adult??  
**lance:** shiro is digesting this information  
**lance:** along with his sixth banana

**(11:53am) brutis:** _Holy shit... Tell your friend he needs to stop please_  
**brutis:** _For all of our sakes_

**(11:55am) lance:** he still doesn't see what the problem is  
**lance:** that man needs help  
**lance:** oh jesus the conversation turned to you SO FAST  
**lance:** i'm being interrogated  
**lance:** wraelgtkjbwe

**(11:55am) brutis:** _julius?_

**(11:55am) lance:** hi hello it is me and i think pidge should be crossed out of the blacklist  
**lance:** do you agree

**(11:55am) brutis:** _Hi Pidge. I've heard a lot about you._

**(11:55am) lance:** and I you!!! is it true that your cat vomited on you twice last night

**(11:56am) brutis:** _Yes, and how dare he tell you that?_

**(11:56 am) lance:** dude he tells us everything  
**lance** : all he's done over the past day and a half is either text u or talk abt u it's embarrassing  
**lance:** we're all embarrassed  
**lance:** he is currently trying to fight his way past allura, who is holding him back with like 1 finger  
**lance:** it's hilarious  
**lance:** i would send u a photo but apparently it's all top secret between u guys?? weird lol u could be a serial killer  
**lance:** anyway we love him and we really hope ur not a serial killer because he seems to really enjoy texting you  
**lance:** and if u hurt him we're gonna send shiro and allura to smack u into the next dimension  
**lance:** so jot that down!!!!!  
**lance:** i'm deleting these messages so he'll never know we said this lol  
**lance:** pretend this never happened and enjoy ur contact with our bestie in peace, random guy!!!!  
**lance:** your pal shall be returned to you momentarily  
**lance:** love from pidge and hunk

**\- delete 12 messages?**  
**\- 12 messages deleted.**

**(11:59am) lance:** BRUTIS IT'S ME AGAIN  
**lance:** WHAT DID THAT GREMLIN SAY TO YOU  
**lance:** I SAW THEM AND HUNK TYPING AWAY  
**lance:** I'M SORRY THEY HAD MY PHONE FOR SO LONG  
**lance:** ALLURA HAS THE STRONGEST PINKY FINGER EVER?????

**(12:00pm) brutis:** _You mean to tell me that this Allura person restrained you_  
**brutis:** _A college student in the prime of your youth_  
**brutis:** _For three full minutes_  
**brutis:** _With her pinky finger?_

**(12:00pm) lance:** shut up she's freakshly strong  
**lance:** she goes to the gym like every morning but that still doesn't explain it tbh  
**lance:** we're opposites lol my arms are limp noodles  
**lance:** she could probably crush u with her thighs alone 

**(12:00pm) brutis:** _Good to know._  
**brutis:** _Got a free period?_

**(12:00pm) lance:** as a matter of fact i do  
**lance:** omg if you do too we can do some intense chatting

**(12:01pm) brutis:** _What does that mean? Sounds painful_

**(12:01pm) lance:** it meeeeeaaaans  
**lance:** let's play 20 questions  
**lance:** i get to ask first bc u essentially know everything abt me already

**(12:01pm) brutis:** _Okay, but on one condition: I can veto questions I don't want to answer._

**(12:01pm) lance:** Oh my god brutus u actually agreed  
**lance:** u warm this roman emperor's shrivelled little heart ♥

**(12:01pm) brutis:** _Get on with it!!_

**(12:02pm) lance:** ok okokokokokok ok I'll ask u like 10 and then u ask me ok?  
**lance:** let me think  
**lance:** ok nubmer 1 - what is your cat's name?

**(12:02pm) brutis:** _Nice try. Vetoed._

**(12:02pm) lance:** fine fine. number 1 version 2 - you are 19 right?

**(12:02pm) brutis:** _Yes I am nineteen! I thought we established this_

**(12:02pm) lance:** I WANTED 2 B SURE LEAVE ME ALONE  
**lance:** number 2 - when are you 20?

**(12:03pm) brutis:** _Uhh.. pretty soon, actually._  
**brutis:** _October 23rd._

**(12:03pm) lance:** YOU'RE A SCORPIO HAHAHAHA I KNWE IT  
**lance:** only a Scorpio would betray me like you do Brutis!!! ♥  
**lance:** okay question number 3 - what music do u listen to?

**(12:03pm) brutis:** _How could you possibly have known that?_  
**brutis:** _Hmmm I really like the Killers, Arctic Monkeys and Fall Out Boy_  
**brutis:** _Maybe some MCR??_

**(12:03pm) lance:** MY HEART  
**lance:** YOU EMO  
**lance:** I bet u wear black all the time omfg

**(12:04pm) brutis:** _Leave me alone it's a good colour_

**(12:04pm) lance:** BLACK'S NOT A COLOUR COLOURS ARE BRIGHT  
**lance:** I love this this is amazing  
**lance:** ok question 4: what qualities do u admire the most?

**(12:05pm) brutis:** _Endurance... Leadership_  
**brutis:** _Patience. I struggle with that._  
**brutis:** _Openness? I kinda struggle with that too. Not that good at making friends haha._

**(12:05pm) lance:** cool! feels like a really genuine answer thank u!  
**lance:** next question - if you could go anywhere where would you go?

**(12:05pm) brutis:** _The Grand Canyon. Or space. Either one._  
**brutis:** _I really love the desert and the stars lol._

**(12:06pm) lance:** asasdjsdfh  
**lance:** OMFG SAME I wanna go 2 space too!!!!!  
**lance:** i LOVE space  
**lance:** the only space i hate is the one between us babe  
**lance:** the desert is gross though lol

**(12:06pm) brutis:** _Rude?? Uncalled for??_

**(12:06pm) lance:** ok question six - where do you see yourself in 10 years?

**(12:06pm) brutis:** _oh jesus uhhh........_  
**(12:08pm) brutis:** _Uhhhh........_  
**brutis:** _hopefully I'll have my black belt? and a job_  
**brutis:** _I wouldn't mind being in the military or maybe a pilot_

**(12:08pm) lance:** asshdjfdk  
**lance:** you do martial arts? wait of course you do  
**lance:** i used to want to be a pilot too!!! maybe someday lol  
**lance:** question seven - what's your major?

**(12:08pm) brutis:** _General science right now but I want to do astrophysics!_

**(12:08pm) lance:** oh christ brutis you're smart i should have known  
**lance:** i'm starry-eyed 4 u ♥  
**lance:** question eight - if you had one wish what would it be??

**(12:10pm) brutis:** _For you to stop calling me brutis and making fun of the way I put ketchup on fries_

**(12:10pm) lance:** WRONG ANSWER YOU'D WISH FOR A SHOWER  
**lance:** 4 ur clean getaway

**(12:10pm) brutus:** _I'm blocking you. You're about to be blocked._

**(12:10pm) lance:** you can't block me I still have two questions left ;)  
**lance:** question nine - what do you look for in a romantic partner, if at all? ;) ;)

**(12:10pm) brutis:** _Can I please veto that one?_  
**brutis:** _Fine._  
**brutis:** _Attractive I guess??? Kind, patient... Uh... Tall?_  
**brutis:** _Someone who is genuinely excited to see me probably._  
**brutis:** _Someone who won't leave?_

**(12:13pm) lance:** if someone hurt you in the past I'm sorry.  
**lance:** don't know who would leave you  
**lance:** I know I wouldn't  
**lance:** it's not every day you find yourself a cat hermit dusty roman man ♥  
**lance:** last question is an easy one  
**lance:** what color are your eyes?

**(12:13pm) brutis:** _You're such an idiot._  
**brutis:** _Black? Dark brown? Just kinda dark i guess_

**(12:13pm) lance:** brutis i'm lost in them already ;)

**(12:13pm) brutis:** _You're still an idiot._  
**brutis:** _♥_

**(12:14pm) lance:** okay it's your time to shine my dear husband brutis  
**lance:** ask away  
**lance:** do your worst  
**lance:** i'm r e a d y

**(12:14pm) brutis:** _1/10: What should i call you that isn't Julius?_

**(12:14pm) lance:** how about... gorgeous  
**lance:** sexy  
**lance:** babe  
**lance:** honey  
**lance:** Charlemagne the Unifier, Father of Europe  
**lance:** Gimli son of Glóin  
**lance:** Lord of Westeros, King of the Andals and First of His Name  
**lance:** the naruto to your sasuke  
**lance:** sweetpea ;)

**(12:15pm) brutis:** _I will call you Chuck._  
**brutis:** _short for Charlemagne the Unifier._

**(12:15pm) lance:** only the cutest couples have adorable pet names ♥

**(12:15pm) brutis:** _2/10: Are you tall?_

**(12:15pm) lance:** yeah I'd say so. I'm nearly 5"9 lmao  
**lance:** I hope thats within ur attractiveness size bracket

**(12:16pm) brutis:** _it is it ISSSS_  
**brutis:** _HHSSSFFFFSSHGGGHJKL_

**(12:16pm) lance:** stop it brutis i'm blushing so much  
**lance:** i'm sitting with allura and she won't stop teasing me aaaaaaghghgh

**(12:16pm) brutis:** _Okay. I've recovered. 3/10: When is your birthday?_

**(12:18pm) lance:** july 28th!!! i'm a Leo heck yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh

**(12:18pm) brutis:** _Nice. 4/10: What music do you listen to?_

**(12:18pm) lance:** mostly electronic!!! like madeon, porter robinson etc. I love love love Glass Animals too omfg  
**lance:** i listen to bomba esteréo too lmao  
**lance:** other than that kinda whatever's on the radio!! 

**(12:19pm) brutis:** _I don't know any of those, I'll look them up._  
**brutis:** _Okay 5/10: What's your major?_

**(12:20pm) lance:** Art history with History ahahaha  
**lance:** that's how I met hunk, he's the most amazing artist  
**lance:** that's not even his major though. he's doing engineering  
**lance:** and he's the best cook i've ever met??? he's so talented i'm proud but also angry

**(12:22pm) brutis:** _Seriously? Wouldn't have pegged you as a history nerd._

**(12:22pm) lance:** dude i have educated you on both charlemagne and the death of julius caesar  
**lance:** if it happened a long time ago i know ALL ABOUT it!!!11!!

**(12:24pm) brutis:** _interesting._  
**brutis:** > _;^)_  
**brutis:** _Okay... 6/10: What do you look for in a romantic partner?_

**(12:27pm) lance:** okay buckle your seatbelt  
**lance:** i think about this shit alll the time  
**lance:** i'm bi, so i like girls and guys. whoever i fall in love with has to be someone i really care about, like a best friend. i want to be able to do anyything with them and have a good time, like even something boring or annoying. Someone with opinions, too, and a really unique way of seeing things. someone who cares deeply about stuff!!!! i want to be watch scary movies and go to theme parks and spoon and do disgustingly cute things!! spend months getting ready for their birthday!! hold hands! give them flowers asjshdsklfdj i wanna give them flowers all the time for no reason. Someone i can reach over and touch and it's nbd! someone i can get very drunk with and then we can suffer together the next morning... I want to have music that reminds me of them, like that one song that you both love. go shopping or on magical mystery tours. Stay up late texting or facetiming!! goodnight and good morning texts!! breakfast together!! i'm so ready to fall in love aaaaaaaahhh ♥ ♥ 

**(12:35pm) lance:** brutis? you there?

**(12:36pm) brutis:** _Chuck. That was so sweet that i had to listen to Slayer to feel normal again._  
**brutis:** _I hope your friends know that they're blessed tbh_

**(12:40pm) lance:** don't worry, brutis dear. I make sure they do!

**(12:41pm) brutis:** _And I hope you find the person you're looking for._

**(12:41pm) lance:** me too, dusty roman man. Me too.

**(12:42pm) brutis:** _Okay I have a good one now. 7/10: Tell me what you look like. Not the obvious things, but little details you like about yourself._

**(12:45pm) lance:** that IS a good one!! okay hmm I like my hands. They're long and thin, like a pianist's, and the veins stand out on the wrist and forearm. I have a scar on my left hand from touching a stove when i was younger, so when i look at it i remember how my mom's kitchen smells. I like the faint freckles near my eyes too, but you can't see them unless you're up close! and i guess i like my legs because they're really really long and I tend to stick them out dramatically all the time ahahaha they're handy for tripping up my brothers and pidge.

**lance:** damn brutis you ask good questions i should up my game next time

**(12:47pm) brutis:** _I know, I'm a genius._  
**brutis:** _8/10: do you have a job?_

**(12:48pm) lance:** yeah i'm a zumba instructor in my free time!! I love dancing!!! and doing dance workouts is fun  
**lance:** i love my job so much aah

**(12:49pm) brutis:** _Oh okay! Interesting hahahaha I can't picture you dancing_

**(12:50pm) lance:** dude I'd be surprised if you could picture me at all lmao

**(12:52pm) brutis:** _I have an active imagination ;)_

**(12:53pm) lance:** DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING UHHNNNGGHH  
**lance:** Allura's teasing me again STOP IT

**(12:55pm) brutis:** _maybe I will, maybe I won't ;)_  
**brutis:** _9/10: where do you wish you were right now?_

**(12:56pm) lance:** that's an easy one. With you at Veradero beach, and all my friends and family are there too!!

**(12:57pm) brutis:** _You wish you were with me?_

**(12:58pm) brutis:** _Seriously?_

**(12:59pm) brutis:** _Nobody's ever really said that to me before._

**(1:18pm) brutis:** _Chuck?_

**(1:22pm) brutis:** _You there?_

**(1:25pm) brutis:** _Talk to you soon, chuck._

**(1:32pm) brutis:** _Hope you're okay._

**(1:32pm) brutis:** _Bye._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> many of the incidents in this chapter are inspired by my life, such as lance getting into the wrong car and shiro eating too many bananas lol  
> i should have called this fic the adventures of chuck and brutis :))   
> the gang are watching lance become besotted with apprehension!!!
> 
> i hope you like it!! as always please consider leaving a comment because they make me so so excited ahahaha i'm such a loser. seriously though nothing motivates me more <3 and if i fuck up in any way don't be afraid to inform me, i'll fix it asap. Come make friends with me on my Tumblr art blog at kxldwxn.tumblr.com :)))


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things start getting plotty!!! hope you enjoy, and thank you to everyone who commented on chapter 2! sorry for the late update, i was going to update on wednesday but i was just so tired and exhausted that I couldn't finish it. if you like the chapter please leave some feedback! I don't really know what american colleges are like so if i make any mistakes please tell me and i'll correct them. <3 update coming soon!

**(6:45pm) lance:** hey dude sorry for the radio silence  
**lance:** i had to run to a lecture that i was so so late for

**(6:47pm) brutis:** _Did the lecture last a day and a half?_

**(6:47pm) lance:** no but I can ;) ;)  
**lance:** seriously though i got to the lecture ok, then remembered an essay  
**lance:** it was due for today and i completely forgot about it  
**lance:** skipped class, pulled an all-nighter, spent 38 hours straight on it  
**lance:** drank more LLC than is healthy  
**lance:** finished it and sent it two hours ago  
**lance:** been asleep ever since  
**lance:** hunk just dragged me out of bed and gave me coffee and a doughnut i love him

**(6:48pm) brutis:** _Holy shit. You alright?_

**(6:48pm) lance:** I will be once I shower and get the LLC out of my system lmao  
**lance:** i'm going out with allura tonight so i gotta b in tiptop form

**(6:48pm) brutis:** _going out with allura?_  
**brutis:** _also what's LLC?_

**(6:49pm) lance:** someone's inquisitive tonight ;) we're going to a club in town! haven't gone out in ages lol  
**lance:** also i'm surprised I haven't told you about the LLC  
**lance:** it's a drink I invented for those deadline-ticking-closer nights  
**lance:** 30% red bull, 40% coffee, 20% coke, a drizzling of tabasco sauce and just a touch of vodka  
**lance:** accelerates heart rate like nothng else lmao

**(6:49pm) brutis:** _What the fuck, chuck? That sounds like objectively the worst thing ever_

**(6:49pm) lance:** you just gotta get the coffee-red bull balance right  
**lance:** because then you exceed 'disgusting' and get to 'torturous'  
**lance:** no better motivation  
**lance:** what has my dear brutis been up to?  
**lance:** how is my darling kitty tabitha?

**(6:50pm) brutis:** _Wrong again, you gotta try harder or you'll never get it. ♥_  
**brutis:** _Not much, just doing homework and training._

**(6:50pm) lance:** you know something brutis  
**lance:** those double texts and heart emojis always get my pulse racing  
**lance:** is your cat called minerva mcgonagall

**(6:50pm)brutis:** _Nope!_

**(6:50pm) lance:** then literally what is the point  
**lance:** okay brutis i love both you and your vomiting nameless cat  
**lance:** but allura is getting fed up  
**lance:** i fear her wrath  
**lance:** i must go ♥ 

**(6:51pm) brutis:** _See you, chuck. Text me when you get home. ♥_

 

*

 

Lance pushed his phone into his back pocket and spared himself a last glance in the mirror. Dark purple rings under his eyes, Lance finger-gunned at his reflection and slammed the door behind him. 

"Ready?" asked Allura, her white hair falling over her shoulders as she bent to adjust her heel.

"You know I am!" Lance beamed, stretching exuberantly. Despite his exhaustion he was excited to get to the nightclub. He hadn't been wasted in ages. "Did Pidge say whether or not they were coming?"

Allura sucked her teeth with glossy lips, face lit by her phone. "Nope. Says they have a tutoring session with some guy. Pidge never goes out, anyway."

"So just you, me, Hunk and Shiro? What about Shay and Matt?" Lance started shrugging on his jacket.

"Matt's coming, but Shay says it's not her scene. I agree, to be honest... She's too wholesome to get drunk."

"Hunk is too! We're corrupting his sweetness!"

"Nah, Hunk's as debauched as any of us. I've never seen anyone down that much tequila. It'll be fun to see Matt, it's been a while! Does he still have, like, shoulder-length hair?" Allura played with the ends of her own dyed hair contemplatively. 

"Yeah, Shiro's obsessed with it. They were all over each other the last time I saw them, it was hard to look at."

"Oh shush, Lance, you know they're adorable," retorted Allura, pulling her silk embroidered coat on over her bare shoulders. "We were all so excited when those two idiots finally went out."

"True," admitted Lance, The pair of them made their way down the hall to Hunk's room. "Are we meeting them at A.L.'s?"

A.L. Tea N' Coffee was a large, warm, nearby coffee shop that served as the group's meeting place. One or more of them could usually be found there at any given time, curled up on the cushions with a mocha. Shay worked there, which was how she and Hunk had met.

The man in question opened his door, brown eyes lighting up under the yellow headband he always wore. "Lance! Allura! Hi!"

"Ready, Hunk?" asked Lance, leaning on the doorframe. "I survived the LLC and am raring to get pissed."

"Lance's Last Chance is the worst name you could have come up with," grumbled Hunk, fumbling with his keys as he locked the door. "At least it sounds slightly better as 'the LLC.'"

"What I call it doesn't matter," Lance whined. "What matters is me getting my shit done. Last time I missed an essay Iverson stared down at me with his weird one-eye-open thing and called me a disappointment."

"You are a disappointment," snickered Allura, striding off down the corridor. "We all saw Pidge's video of you getting in that random woman's car."

"That was entirely their fault!" Lance protested, ignoring Hunk's snort behind him. 

"They still have the 'Lance's tears' cup, you know," Hunk told him, falling into stride with Lance. "I think they're collecting them with every daily Pidge coffee you buy them."

"Don't worry, Lance, I'll get Matt to throw them out." Allura grinned at him, stabbing the elevator button with a false-nailed fingertip.

 

Matt and Shiro, holding hands, were waiting for them outside A.L.'s. Shiro was, naturally, head and shoulders taller than his boyfriend, who had his hair tied back in a bun and was wearing a huge black hoodie.

"Greetings," said Matt, holding up a flat hand anime-style at them. "Glad you could make it."  
"Hey, nerd," grinned Lance, initiating their secret handshake. They did it enthusiastically while everyone else looked on, quickly getting bored.

"Okay," said Allura, a full thirty seconds later. "That's enough. How are you two?"

Shiro smiled almost nervously, threading his fingers through Matt's. "We're good," he said, sharing a soft look with his boyfriend. "We're good."

Something tightened in Lance's chest and he looked away, scuffing a shoe against the pavement. The group headed off to get the bus, Allura chatting to Shiro and Matt with Hunk.  
As his friends walked and talked, Lance thought idly about Brutis. He loved texting him, loved the cynical replies, quiet incredulity, gentle concern. Taking his phone out of his pocket and flipping it over, Lance tried to imagine what Brutis looked like. It was hard, seeing as dark eyes were all he had to go on, and that could be anyone. Sometimes, behind his eyes, he could form an image of the expression Brutis had when he texted Lance - a half smile, eyebrows exasperated. Everything about their stupid daily texts made the pit of his stomach flutter with anxious delight.  
As he often did, he considered texting Brutis to ask him for more - a photo, his name, somewhere they could meet up. As usual, however, a spasm of fear froze his hand on his phone. It wasn't fear that Brutis wouldn't be different or less than he'd imagined - nothing like that - just fear that Lance would disappoint him somehow. That Lance wasn't enough. He didn't want to change what he had with Brutis, whatever it was, because Lance already hated himself. The last thing he needed was Brutis falling out of touch with him because of the way Lance was.

That was all Lance thought about as they all sat together on the bus, stretched out over the aisle. He wanted desperately to know who he'd been texting all week, but his curiosity was dampened by insecurity. Lance knew he was too afraid to take anything further, however much he wanted to. Past experiences with others, Nyma among them, had taught Lance not to be too forward. Not to be too trusting.

Lance sighed and leaned his head against the cold glass of the bus window, watching the blurred orange lights of the city pass, wondering what Brutis was doing now.

 

*

 

"Hi! Are you Keith?"

Keith looked up at the voice, to where his new tutor, presumably, was standing.  
"Yeah, I'm Keith. You're my tutor, right?"

"Yep. My name's Katie, they/them pronouns! I'll be helping you with that computer algorithm."  
Katie was extremely short, with expressive brown eyes behind round glasses. They gave him a sweet smile, adjusting the stack of books they held. "I've heard a lot about you, Keith. My lecturer says you're the brightest in his class... when you can be bothered to show up."

Keith stuck his hands further into his pockets, feeling awkward. "Yeah, my attendance really should be better."

"Hey, as long as you get your assignments done, you'll be okay. That's what I'm here for." Katie sat down at the table, pulling out a laptop. It was covered with stickers, so densely that the surface wasn't visible - aliens, constellations, TV show characters and logos. Keith sat beside them, slinging his kitbag over the back of the chair.  
"About that algorithm," they said, eyes lighting up. "I coded it myself last year. It's based off a mathematical expression I wrote for the exponential density increase in supernovas, constrained to the first thirty seconds after explosion. All you have to do is open the program, key in the values into these boxes and it'll take you to this page, which gives you all the background stuff about black holes, gravitational collapse et cetera. And then if you click here it generates a graph and a fun little animation."

"Right. And then what about the different types of supernovae?" Keith asked, leaning forward.  
Katie smirked. "You don't have to worry about those," they said. "Not yet, anyway. Those ones are complicated, so I have a whole other algorithm plan. They're white dwarves, often in a binary star system, which makes things difficult. For now all you need to think about is..."  
They continued, explaining at length the ins and outs of making computer programs to calculate dozens of different things. Keith, so far, was most interested in the formulae to calculate wind speed on Mars, factoring in a number of different natural elements. Katie was alight with enthusiasm, beaming up at him whenever he asked a question. Keith decided he wanted to suggest they instruct him again.

As they began to finish up, Katie closed their laptop and peered tiredly over at him. "I have a ton of notes that would really help your project, but they're at home. I can bring them to your dorm tomorrow, if you want? What's your hall and room number?"

Keith brushed a hand through his long hair, smiling back at them. "That would be great! I'm over in Winchester, room 57."

"Perfect!" said Katie, shrugging their green coat on. "I'll hand those notes over as soon as I can."

Eventually it got late and Keith said his goodbyes, shoving the pages and pages of notes he'd taken into his kitbag. He stuck his earphones in and pushed the library door open, stepping out into the cold night. The air smelled of smoke and he could see faint stars overhead between the dark clouds.  
They library he and Katie had agreed upon was over near the IT building, where Katie spent most of their time. Keith was going to have to take the bus through town back to his flats, which was a prospect he wasn't thrilled about. Town on a Friday night was always crazy.

 

Keith pulled the hood of his red jumper up over his hair and zipped up his black coat, watching the steam of his breath dissipate in the cold air. The streetlamps cast an eerie orange glow over the road as he made his way through the streets, his face lit periodically by neon lights and the glow of storefronts. People brushed past him, walking fast, raising their collars against the cold. It was late, almost midnight, and Keith just wanted to get home to his room.

As he passed a particularly loud nightclub, hands deep in his pockets, some guy ran out and stumbled into him. Keith staggered and fell to one knee, trying to catch the person who'd barrelled into him. "Hey!" he snarled, tearing out an earbud. "Watch where you're going!"

"Sorry, dude," the guy slurred, hauling Keith up and brushing off his shoulders. He was swaying, his breath sour with alcohol. "Was getting some... uhh... some air. Didn't mean to tackle you."  
He was Keith's age, taller than him, with dark hair and a lanky build. Keith felt a flush creeping up his cheeks, even as his scowl deepened. He gave the guy a gentle push away from him, trying to detach the slender hands from his shoulders. The boy patted Keith's face clumsily in a sort of apology. Keith's mouth tightened and he caught his hand. The boy lurched bonelessly backward and made his way back into the club, giving Keith a last smile over his shoulder. Keith stared after him, keeping his eyes on the boy's retreating back as he put his earbud back in.

Not sure how he was feeling, Keith walked the rest of the way to the bus stop, trying to put the whole thing out of his mind.

 

*

 

**(1:24am) Chuck:** _hwyt eutis_  
**(1:25am) Chuck:** _sprry i meanr het brutps_  
**Chuck:** _can'r find allurw or hubk idk they might hvditched me_

**(1:25am) Keith:** chuck? You okay?

**(1:34am) Chuck:** _been wslking arounf for agrs idk where the fuxk they are_  
**Chuck:** _it's ok thoufh theyll find em_

**(1:34am) Keith:** I realise that you're drunk? Is there anything I can do?

**(1:34am) Chuck:** _no nono dw im ok i'm fien dont worry_  
**Chuck:** _thanku brutis ur so goodnto me_  
**Chuck:** _seripsly its like i miss ypu but i csnt miss u becsuse i've nrver met you? i wsnt to know you but im scared_

**(1:35pm) Keith:** What? Are you sure you're all right?

**(1:35pm) Chuck:** _yrah god thank u ur so concerned for me_  
**Chuck:** _i love you i loev textinh you_  
**Chuck:** _please don't stop replyig_  
**Chuck:** _i feel less alone when u text me_

**(1:36pm) Keith:** ...You feel alone?  
**Keith:** What about Allura and Hunk and Pidge and that guy with the bananas?

**(1:37pm) Chuck:** _i lvoe them all so much but idk im still lonely_  
**Chuck:** _i don't deserve them you knwo?_

**(1:37pm) Keith:** Of course you do. You're amazing, chuck.

**(1:38pm) Chuck:** _i wish i knew yuo_

**(1:38pm) Keith:** You could  
**Keith:** If you wanted

**(1:38pm) Chuck:** _im too afraid, brutus_  
**Chuck:** _youll stop replyinf_  
**Chuck:** _i dont wanna lose thsi_

**(1:39pm) Keith:** You won't, I'm here. I'll always answer your texts.

**(1:41pm) Chuck:** _yoiu isidddd szdfiwe_

**(1:41pm) Keith:** chuck? Are you okay?

**(1:52pm) Chuck:** _hey, this is allura on his phone. he passed out, so we're taking him home._

**(1:53pm) Keith:** Okay. Hope he'll be alright.

 

Keith stayed up for another hour, sitting in the dark in bed with his phone next to him, hoping it would light up.  
He kept thinking about the boy on the other end of the phone - the good-natured, funny guy he'd been texting and flirting with all week - versus the sad, lonely teenager who didn't think he was good enough for his friends. It made Keith's heart constrict painfully.

Keith wasn't sure when every text from "chuck" had begun to make his stomach writhe with nervous pleasure. He hated the way he dived for his phone whenever he heard the familiar chirp, hated the way he typed back with trembling fingers. Something about the boy on the other end of the messages made his heart race, an ache that Keith wasn't used to.

Keith wondered if he was in love with a stranger.

Sighing, he lay back and turned off his phone. It was 3am, and he had training tomorrow. Staying up this long had been stupid, but his worry for "chuck" had kept him awake long after he stopped replying. At least chuck's friends were taking care of him. 

After a moment's hesitation he reached over and turned his phone back on, and fell asleep half-hoping chuck would say something.

 

*

 

A sharp rap on his door jolted Keith out of sleep. Disorientated, he looked over at his alarm. 2:34pm.  
Fuck. He'd slept through training.

The insistent knock came again.  
Keith, thinking it was his roommate Kole, stumbled over to the door and flung it open.

The drunk guy who had barrelled into him last night was standing there, eyes ringed with purple. He was tall, brown, blue-eyed, thin-faced and gorgeous. The bottom of Keith's stomach fell out. 

The boy's gaze snagged on Keith's, a tired, polite smile forming on his face.

"Uhh... Is your name Keith?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand they meet :^)

Lance woke up feeling terrible.

He could remember last night, to a point at least. Walking into the nightclub, dancing with Allura, watching her highlighter shimmer in the violet strobe lights ... then they went to the bar for shots and it all got hazy after that. He had blurry memories of dancing with some guy, of losing his shoe and finding it on someone else's foot, of staggering outside and bowling a stranger over. Lance kneaded his eye with a knuckle, sitting up in bed and hissing at his raging headache.  
His phone was on his bedside table. Lance had the terrible feeling that he had drunk-texted Brutis, and was almost too afraid to look.

Almost. Lance picked it up and unlocked the screen with a click. Reading over the texts made him want to scream and he ran a hand through his hair, breathing fast. Brutis's replies had been quietly concerned, almost pitying, as Lance poured out his pathetic insecurities. 

 

**(11:34am) lance:** hey man, sorry about last night. guess i'm a melancholy drunk lol  
**lance:** hope i didn't bother you  
**lance:** get back to me when you wake up?  
**(11:40am) lance:** i'm sorry.

 

Lance slid his legs out of bed and sat there, trying to ignore the bitter ache in his chest. With a sigh he dressed and went to find his friends, hoping they wouldn't be angry at him.

"Hey, Lance," said Allura brightly as he approached their usual table at A.L.'s. "Feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," answered Lance, falling onto the couch beside her. She was typing away at her laptop, hair tied back in a ponytail and her brow furrowed with concentration. "Thanks for bringing me home."

"What are friends for?" She flashed him a grin, blue eyes sincere. Lance nudged her with an elbow, feeling a rush of affection.

"I wish you'd seen him, Shay," sniggered Hunk, sitting close to his girlfriend. "Someone took his shoe so he spent the whole night stumbling around asking for it in either Spanish or Shakespearean English."

"Forsooth, for I am loath to be shod," snorted Shiro, sitting in the corner with a hood over his whitened hair. A black coffee steamed in front of him as he typed on his phone, undoubtedly texting Matt. Lance shrugged, an easy smile spreading over his face. "I had to get it back somehow. Not gonna let fresh kicks go to waste."

"Man, that guy's face when you yelled 'Fie!' and yanked it off his foot," Hunk said, smirking into his mocha. "I've never seen anyone back off that fast. How did you even know it was yours?"

"I always write 'Andy' on the soles of my shoes," admitted Lance, stretching and cracking his elbows. "Still not over the ending of Toy Story 3. Why did Andy have to go to college?"

"You can't talk, Lance," retorted Shiro. "You're halfway through a History degree."

"Is Pidge alive?" asked Shay, cutting off Lance's indignant reply. "Haven't seen them all week, it's not like them to sleep late."

"Pidge says they're sick," answered Allura. "Stayed up late tutoring an astrophysics major and burned themself out. They asked if anyone can drop notes over to his room? They promised they would. Hunk?"

"I can't, I have to go home and mind my sister," said Hunk, frowning. "Shiro?"

"Doctor's appointment," Shiro winced, indicating his prosthetic arm. "Allura?"

"My shift starts in twenty minutes," said Allura, grimacing. "Shay?"

"I'm collecting my brother at the airport," Shay sighed. "Lance?"

Lance didn't have an excuse. "Fuck. I'll do it. Are the notes at Pidge's flat?"

"Yup. Sorry, Lance. They say it'll only take fifteen minutes anyway," said Allura sympathetically, attention distracted by Shiro unpeeling a banana and biting into it. "Shiro, is that your first today?"

"Fourth," he mumbled, expression sheepish. Allura shook her head exasperatedly, grinning over at him. Lance took the opportunity to slip away, getting himself and Pidge a coffee on the way out. 

 

Pidge's room was relatively near Lance's and Hunk's, so it was easy for Lance to make his way over. He met their roommate, Beezer, on the stairs, who shook her head wordlessly and continued on her way down. Legs burning, Lance got to Pidge's door and knocked cautiously.  
"Pidge?"  
A quiet muffled moan came from inside, followed by a thump. Seconds later, the door creaked open and Lance's gaze was met with one bleary, bespectacled golden eye, about a foot below eye level.  
"How are you feeling, genius?" Lance inquired gently, pushing the warm coffee through the gap. Pidge grunted hoarsely in reply and disappeared with the coffee, only to return a moment later, wrapped in a blanket and holding a sheaf of paper and a hard drive.

"Winchester, room 57," Pidge croaked, rubbing their face exhaustedly. "His name's Keith. How was last night?"  
"It was good, I only cried, like, twice," answered Lance as he wrote 57 on his hand. "You okay? Need a hug?"

Pidge's face crumpled tiredly. Lance leaned in and wrapped his arms around his small friend, squeezing his bloodshot eyes shut. Pidge coughed into him and he pulled away, grimacing. "Go back to bed, pigeon. The notes will get to your science friend. I'll be back to check up on you soon."

Pidge smiled up at him, slurping the coffee. They coughed wetly as they shut the door, making Lance break into an awkward jog so that he could be back to look after them sooner. He'd have to take the bus over to Winchester, a prospect he didn't relish. What better way to spend a Saturday morning than making his way alone across the city? Lance put his earphones in and put his playlist on shuffle, taking a long sip of his hot chocolate. 

It struck him that he'd had nothing from Brutis since last night, and that bitter feeling snaked its way into his chest again. Fuck. Lance considered texting him again, then stopped himself firmly. He'd only make things worse.

 

Lance minded his own damn business on the bus, keeping to himself and staring quietly out the window. He tripped getting off, to his mortification, and nearly crushed a toddler. His impulse was to text Brutis about it, then remembered that he'd fucked up last night and kept walking, keeping a tight grip on the USB stick Pidge had given him.

Room 57 turned out to be on the apartment block's 5th floor, and the lift was out of order. Heaving a sigh, Lance began to haul himself up the steps, vowing that he and Pidge were square after this. Notes crinkling in his hand, breathing hard, Lance found number 57 and rang the bell.

There was a resounding crash from inside, then the muffled slap of bare feet on the floor. Lance felt a shiver of apprehension, not unusual in situations like this. He steeled himself for a swift, awkward conversation.  
The door swung open and Lance found himself face to face with the most flawlessly attractive boy he'd ever seen.

The sourness in his chest lifted and dispersed at the sight of him. The boy was almost as tall as he was, with black hair and almond-shaped dark eyes. His expression was guarded - almost defensive - and Lance could see that his knuckles, where his hand gripped the doorframe, were raw and red from fight after fight. He wore an oversized black t-shirt and a huge red hoodie with the hood up. Shiny hair poked out from the hood's shadow at the base of his neck, dark against the pale skin.

The boy was looking Lance up and down expectantly, and Lance realised he was staring. Numbly, he arranged his face into a smile, glancing down at the notes in his hand.

"Uhh... Is your name Keith?" 

"Yeah," Keith said, still unyielding. There was something in his gaze, but Lance couldn't put his finger on it.  
Feeling like he was missing something, Lance said, "I have notes for you, from my friend Pid-- Katie. My friend Katie. They're your tutor, right?"

Keith's expression cleared slightly and he opened the door wider, taking the papers. "Oh. Thank you."  
Their fingers brushed as Keith took the USB stick from Lance. Lance's heart skipped a beat.

Keith made to close the door but Lance hesitated, not moving. Keith looked up at him with a questioning glance.  
"Was there something else...?" Keith asked, clearly eager to shut the door.

"How did the tutoring go?" blurted Lance, unwilling to leave. Pidge could wait a few minutes longer. "...Learn much?"

It was so awkward he could have kicked himself. A goofy, self-conscious smile grew on his face and he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. A flush was rising on his neck.  
Keith looked taken aback. He bit his lip, fingers fluttering slightly on the door handle. "Yeah, Katie's a really good tutor. I'm... I was actually thinking of getting them to tutor me again. Only if they have time, though."

"Ah, okay!" answered Lance brightly. "I'm going to Katie's room now, if you want me to ask? They're sick at the moment - which is why I had to deliver the notes - so I'll be looking after them for a while."

"Katie's sick?" Keith frowned. "They were fine last night."

"Yeah, uh, Katie gets sick really fast. One second, they're fine - the next?" Lance waved a horizontal hand near his throat, fake-wincing.

"I see," said Keith, smiling softly. "Tell them 'get well soon,' I guess."

Lance grinned back as sunnily as he could, laying on the charm. "Will do!"  
Figuring he should quit while he was ahead, he stepped back from the door. 

Keith made to disappear back into his room, then stopped. "What did you say your name was?"

Lance looked back, quirking an eyebrow as seductively as he could manage. "The name's Lance," he said. He tried to wink at Keith, but accidentally shut both eyes. Keith stared at him.  
Screaming inwardly, Lance backed off down the corridor. "Well, bye!" he called, and hurried away, blushing furiously. Not looking where he was going, he knocked the fire extinguisher off the wall. It landed on his foot with an echoing clang.

"You good?" Keith asked, poking his head out into the hallway.  
"Fine!" Lance yelped, fumbling to get it back on its hook. Finally it attached and Lance gave Keith a wave before practically sprinting to the stairwell with a pronounced limp.

Panting, he shut the door between them and put a shaky hand to his chest. Keith's dark eyes flashed through his mind and he leaned his head against the wall before sliding to the floor.  
"Keith," he muttered to himself, wanting to know how the name felt on his tongue. Then he realised how violently and abruptly he'd just caught feelings for this boy.  
"Fuck," he breathed, smiling, and ran a hand through his hair. "Fuck."

 

*

 

**(11:34am) Chuck:** _hey man, sorry about last night. guess i'm a melancholy drunk lol_  
**Chuck:** _hope i didn't bother you_  
**Chuck:** _get back to me when you wake up?_  
**(11:40am) Chuck:** _i'm sorry._

**(1:06pm) Keith:** Hey! Just woke up. You didn't bother me at all, man. Don't worry about it.

 

Keith tapped his pencil against his homework, biting his nails and trying to ignore his phone. Missing training had pretty much opened up the rest of his day, but he didn't feel like going home. Maybe he'd just stay in his room and study. He was still in his pyjamas, sitting cross-legged on his bed and poring over Katie's notes. Kole wasn't around, meaning Keith essentially had no one to hang with. And, despite himself and his reclusive ways, Keith felt restless and bored. 

He remembered the guy from earlier, the one who'd called to his apartment. Keith had already forgotten his name, but he was cute. Just the thought of how he'd tripped over himself on the way out made Keith smile and shake his head. An idiot, but the endearing kind.

More important to him now, though, was chuck. Keith hoped the poor guy was alright, he'd seemed downcast and self-conscious since the events of the night before. Anxiety wreathed itself around Keith's heart at the thought that his friend was feeling alone.

Suddenly his phone chimed and Keith lunged for it, stomach doing a slow roll.

**(1:09pm) Chuck:** _cool cool B) good to know you've given up your usual backstabbing hobbies_  
**Chuck:** _backstobbies_

Keith smiled crookedly down at his phone. Seemed like chuck was back to normal.

**(1:09pm) Keith:** I wouldn't say that  
**Keith:** Always up for some gentle, caring stabbing ;)  
**Keith:** Maybe even a bit of friendly civil war if you're feeling romantic ;) ;) 

**(1:10pm) Chuck:** _for you, dusty roman fuck?_  
**Chuck:** _always ♥_

Keith pulled the collar of his oversized hoodie over his chin, grinning like an idiot.

**(1:10pm) Keith:** Oh stop it, you ♥  
**Keith:** Keep on like this and I'll tell you my cat's name

**(1:10pm) Chuck:** _WAIT SERIOUSLY_  
**Chuck:** _REALLY????_

**(1:10pm) Keith:** no ;)  
**Keith:** Keep guessing, babe  <<<333

**(1:10pm) Chuck:** _you're getting blocked and reported, brutis_  
**Chuck:** _never have i been so wounded_

**(1:11pm) Keith:** You can't report me, chuck. We're texting.  
**Keith:** Ilyyy ;)))  
**Keith:** So tell me, chuck  
**Keith:** What are your dreams?

**(1:11pm) Chuck:** _hmmm_  
**Chuck:** _I had this wild dream once_  
**Chuck:** _I was in school doing a test_  
**Chuck:** _and my teacher came over with his weird blinky eye and called me a disappointment_  
**Chuck:** _so far, so mundane_  
**Chuck:** _but THEN_  
**Chuck:** _he picked up my test paper, scrucnched it up_  
**Chuck:** _and put it in his m o u t h_  
**Chuck:** _i was sitting there like ...uhh..._  
**Chuck:** _and he was just there, choking on it a little_  
**Chuck:** _and then he called me a disappointment again but it was muffled because of the paper_  
**Chuck:** _so he was like "you're a gishafoingmen"_  
**Chuck:** _and dream-me was like "thank you, sir. I know."_  
**Chuck:** _and i thought it was over_  
**Chuck:** _but then his weird blinky eye oPENED_  
**Chuck:** _and underneath his eye was all sharingan like in naruto_  
**Chuck:** _and he said "believe it"_  
**Chuck:** _sounded like "veleeb ih"_  
**Chuck:** _and then he walked away_  
**Chuck:** _I woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't get back to sleep_  
**Chuck:** _so i went downstairs at 4am and watched wreck-it ralph_  
**Chuck:** _still gives me chills_

**(11:13pm) Keith:** Uhhh??? I'm screeching  
**Keith:** I meant dreams for the future but that's ok  
**Keith:** I'll take whatever that was  
**Keith:** I screenshotted that  
**Keith:** Saved forever on my phone aajdhjshf;skjhf

**(11:14pm) Chuck:** _yoU COULD HAVE SAID_  
**Chuck:** _and I typed out that whOLE THING_  
**Chuck:** _DAMN IT BRUITS_  
**Chuck:** _you know my dreams for the future anyway!!!_  
**Chuck:** _fall in love, make loads of money, learn your cats name_  
**Chuck:** _oh and pay off my fuckin student debt_  
**Chuck:** _and scuba dive! oh man i wanna scuba dive_

Keith bit his lip happily, curling his toes into his blankets. Chuck was so cute when he talked about things he wished for. He was about to reply when another text made his phone buzz in his hands. Reading it, Keith's heart sank like a stone.

**(11:14pm) Chuck:** _speaking of falling in love_  
**Chuck:** _BRUTIS I MET THE MOST HANDSOME GUY_  
**Chuck:** _I NEARLY DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN ON THE SPOT_  
**Chuck:** _CHOIRS OF ANGELS IN MY HEAD AND ALL THAT_  
**Chuck:** _YOU'D LOVE HIM BRUTIS HE WAS WEARING GRUNGY CLOTHES_  
**Chuck:** _CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM AGAIN :)))))))))_

Locking his phone, Keith rested his head in his hands, and bit so hard into the end of his pencil that he could taste lead. So chuck had met someone? It was ridiculous how jealous Keith was feeling, considering he didn't even know who chuck was. Keith didn't want to reply, feeling like it was futile. Knowing the words were hollow, he typed back:

**(11:16pm) Keith:** Ah congrats! Glad for you.

Then he switched his phone off completely, flung himself back on his bed and yelled into his pillow.

 

*

**(2:18pm) brutis:** _So what's his name?_

**(2:20pm) lance: _what do you mean, brutis dear?_ **

****

********

**(2:20pm) brutis:** _Your new man_  
**brutis:** _Your paramour_  
**brutis:** _The object of your affection_

**(2:20pm) lance:** i'll tell you my crush's name when you tell me what you called your DAMN CAT

**(2:20pm) brutis:** _looks like we're at an impasse_

**(2:20pm) lance:** someone's gonna break first  
**lance:** and it ain't gonna be me  
**lance:** it's high noon  
**lance:** holy shit brutis you're such a reaper main

**(2:20pm) brutis:** _I have no idea what that means._

**(2:20pm) lance:** i bet my new sweetheart would

**(2:20pm) brutis:** _I bet he drizzles his ketchup too_  
**brutis:** _Since you won't tell me his name I'm going to call him Cassius_  
**brutis:** _Keeping up with our dusty Roman theme ;)_

**(2:21pm) lance:** whatever you say, hon  
**lance:** oh jesus pigde just sneezed on me  
**lance:** i wont be their damn florence nightingale if this continues  
**lance:** everyone else fucked off today so i get to play nurse  
**lance:** they're all sniggering at me in the groupchat  
**lance:** and on top of that  
**lance:** I was ATTACKED by a fucking CROW on the way home  
**lance:** literally just a magmet for bad luck smhhhh

**(2:23pm) brutis:** _ahahahahHAHAHAHSAHSSHSHDJDB_  
**brutis:** _asthma attack part 2 you asshole_  
**brutis:** _who the fuck gets attacked by crows?? what the fuck???_  
**brutis:** _And even if you are a magnet for bad luck_  
**brutis:** _At least magnets are attractive ;)_

**(2:23pm) lance:** you goddamn flirt brutis  
**lance:** i just blushed at my phone and pidge is teasing me  
**lance:** to make it clear for you  
**lance:** pidge literally has a fever. they are practically dying. unable to leave their bed  
**lance:** still has energy to smirk at me  
**lance:** i can barely see their face poking out between blankets  
**lance:** little bespectacled shit

**(2:23pm) brutis:** _I hate to say it, chuck_  
**brutis:** _if I were there I'd probably smirk at you too_  
**brutis:** _it's getting easy to make you blush ;)_

(2:24pm) **lance:** LOOKS LIKE 'BE MEAN TO CHUCK' DAY IS OVER  
**lance:** NEW NATIONAL HOLIDAY IS 'MAKE CHUCK WISH HE DIDN'T BLUSH AS EASILY DAY'  
**lance:** NO SCHOOL  
**lance:** EVERYONE JUST PARADES IN THE STREETS  
**lance:** AND LAUGHS AT ME

**(2:25pm) brutis:** _Just do a ferris bueller_  
**brutis:** _Make it your own_  
**brutis:** _Do some zumba dancing on a float_  
**brutis:** _World's your oyster_

**(2:25pm) lance:** I appreciate the ocean metaphor  
**lance:** i know you're a hoe for the desert  
**lance:** I hate sand  
**lance:** it's coarse  
**lance:** and rough  
**lance:** and it  
**lance:** gets everywhere

**(2:25pm) brutis:** _You're a filthy liar I know you love the beach_

**(2:26pm) lance:** IT'S A REFERENCE BRUTIS  
**lance:** give it up anakin  
**lance:** I have the high ground

**(2:26pm) brutis:** _What are you talking about?_

**(2:26pm) lance:** listen brutis...  
**lance:** my dear sweet brutis......,,,,,,,,,,,  
**lance:** I realise you've been dead for like 2000 years  
**lance:** but if the name anakin doesn't mean anything to you i may have to stage an urgent intervention  
**lance:** you've never heard of star wars???????????????

**(2:28pm) brutis:** _Ohh with Dark Vader or whatever his name is_  
**brutis:** _Yeah I know Star Wars_

**(2:28pm) lance:** you fuck  
**lance:** okay here's the plan  
**lance:** i'll sneak outta here (pigdr just fell asleep)  
**lance:** i will make my way back to my room  
**lance:** i will open my laptop  
**lance:** you will open your laptop  
**lance:** we will both open putlocker and watch episode I today. no buts.  
**lance:** i simply will not stand for this

**(2:29pm) brutis:** _Fine, but only because I'm bored._

**(2:29pm) lance:** don't be ridiculous brutis you don't have a choice  
**lance:** okay shush shush shush i'm sneaking out  
**lance:** wish me luck

(2:33pm) **lance:** MADE IT  
**lance:** HOLY SHIT BRUTIS I EVEN REMOVED PIDGE'S FUCKING GLASSES  
**lance:** LITTLE GREMLIN DIDN'T EVEN STIR  
**lance:** I'M A NINJA  
**lance:** BELIEVE IT

**(2:33pm) brutis:** _Wait, seriously? You took off their fucking glasses?_  
**brutis:** _And they didn't wake up?_

**(2:33pm) lance:** YEAH MAN WHO'S THE MARTIAL ARTIST NOW  
**lance:** YA BOY CHUCK

**(2:33pm) brutis:** _Yikes ok_

**(2:33pm) lance:** YIKES ALL YOU WANT BRUTIS  
**lance:** PUT YOUR NAMELESS CAT ON YOUR LAP  
**lance:** DRINK YOUR HOMEMADE LLC  
**lance:** IT'S STAR WARS TIME  
**lance:** YOUR DUSTY DESERT-LOVING ASS IS GONNA GO WILD OVER TATOOINE

**(2:34pm) brutis:** _Wait there's a desert_  
**brutis:** _Ok I'm ready_  
**brutis:** _Let's do this_  
**brutis:** _I have put my backstobbies on hold_  
**brutis:** _Hurry up_

**(2:37pm) lance:** you bastard you're just in it for the sand  
**lance:** i'm running home don't you dare start  
**lance:** i'll be home any second

**(2:39pm) brutis:** _DUDE I'M GONNA START_

**(2:40pm) lance:** OK I'M HOME I'M HOME  
**lance:** HOLD YOUR HORSES  
**(2:41pm) lance:** AAAAAAAAND  
**lance:** GGGOOOOOO

**(2:46pm) brutis:** _that was way too much reading_  
**brutis:** _i understood nothing those yellow letters just told me_  
**brutis:** _.....Where the fuck is the desert_  
**brutis:** _this is just space_

**(2:46pm) lance:** you're an astrophysicist, brutis  
**lance:** calm the proverbial ham  
**lance:** patience you must have

**(2:47pm) brutis:** _i'm so lost right now what's happening_  
**brutis:** _Oooh! Desert!_  
**brutis:** _Damn two suns right beside each other i was just learning about suns_  
**brutis:** _Why is Luke dressed like that_  
**brutis:** _OH SHIT ARE THEY DEAD OMFG_  
**brutis:** _Why does the little round one speak only in beeps_  
**brutis:** _And why is the gold one fancy and disgruntled_

**(3:01pm) lance:** fuck. fuck I have to go right now oh jesus  
**lance:** another time, brutis I have to go right now

**(3:01pm) brutis:** _Chuck what happened, what is it?_  
**brutis:** _chuck?_  
**brutis:** _is everything ok, chuck?_  
**brutis:** _what happened???_

**(3:15pm) lance:** It's pidge.  
**lance:** i'll explain later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!!! i made many sacrifices while writing this chapter, such as crumpling paper and putting it in my mouth to get that authentic sound :))))))   
> lance caught feelings so damn fast...keith was slower :^) leave a comment if you enjoyed and come make friends with me on my voltron art blog kxldwxn.tumblr.com <3 will try to have chapter 5 up by the end of next week!!


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